arity with dragons was the reason he was able to take the form, that and the fact that he had touched one, in the form of Sapphire.  He had touched her, and in that touch, the understanding of how they were built from within was opened to him, just like he needed to have touched something in order to Summon it with Druidic magic.  In that touch was all he needed to perform his magic.  He had copied Fireflashs abilities into a dragons body, merging them to form what he was now, which really was a gold dragon.  After all, drakes were pefect replicas of the dragons they resembledonly much smaller.  He understood in that moment of clarity that he could not shapeshift into any animal that he had not personally touched, and that change was absolute, gaining the powers and abilities of that creature, while retaining his own mind.  He also understood in that moment of clarity that his own divine powers were locked away from him while he was shifted into another form, as his wings of fire, the source of his power, were not there.  He could shapeshift back, but until he did so, all of his other powers were denied to him.  He sacrificed them in order to do this, trading his divine powers for whatever abilities he would gain in taking a different form.
	Shaking off the enormity of what he had just done, he looked down upon humans and orcs that looked no larger than beetles to him now, like little tin soldiers on wooden toy horses.  The humans gaped up at him in terror, as they looked upon something so unimaginably huge that it defied rational explanation.  The horses started to shy and prance as Tarrin, who seemed to have an imparted understanding of how this body worked, took a single step towards them, moving a forepaw, that zoomed him fifty spans closer to them in one lurch.  It was almost dizzying, looking down from such a height, unused to how it changed his perspective, how much smaller everything looked to him now.  He took another step, and then his head was within striking distance of the closest of the humans, but they probably didnt understand that quite yet, since their ability to gauge the length of his neck was restricted by their point of view.  Tarrin singled out the one who had impaled the orc child, who was now mercifully dead, and then his head lanced in with such speed that it shocked all the humans so badly that they were frozen in place.  Massive jaws closed on that particular human, and he was killed instantly when Tarrin crushed him between his huge teeth, taking him right off his startled horse.  The taste of blood in his mouth was pleasing to him, but he had no desire to eat human flesh, so he opened his mouth and flung the mangled body out to the side.  It sailed for almost fifty spans before finally hitting the ground.
	The humans and orcs aliked were terrorized into near paralysis, though the horses were not so overwhelmed. They started whinnying in terror when Tarrins dragon head retreated, trying to rear or pull away, but a single word from Tarrin, spoken in a certain manner that the horses would understand, the Druidic trick of addressing animals, calmed them.
	Anyone else going to kill an orc? Tarrin asked in a sibilant tone, as he worked to make human speech from a maw not designed for it, his voice so deep it quivered the grass before him.  No?  Good.  Then all of you can drop your weapons right now and ride back the way you came, and never come back.  He waited a moment, but nobody moved.  Now, he snapped.
	The clatter of dropped swords and spears was tinny, high-pitched in his now much larger ears.
	Go, he ordered, rising up on his hind legs and pointing to the north.  They seemed to understand that he was letting them go, so they spurred their horses quickly and bolted the way they came, wildly flailing their horses with the reins and kicking their flanks to make them go faster.  Tarrin looked to the orcs, who stared up at him in terror, but he found that he had little love for them.  He only wanted to stop the humans from killing the children, that was all.  Go, he ordered.  And bother the humans no more, unless they bother you first.  That is my price for saving you.
	Tarrin came back down on all fours and sat sedately, folding his wings behind him, as he watched the stunned orcs turn and run towards the south, continually looking over their shoulders.  He felt a bit foolish, but his sense of outrage had been satisfied in killing the one who had killed the child, and he had managed to defuse the situation and prevent an atrocity without laying waste to the entire region and staining his standing with the children.  That, in his opinion, was a good thing.
	Sarraya flitted up over his snout, so tiny that she was almost invisible to him, and he heard her voice in his ears, so high-pitched it was almost funny, but he found that he could easily hear her.  The main problem was that her voice sounded like a whisper, lacking any real power.  Dragons, he discovered, had ears that were capable of hearing a truly stunning range of sounds as well as being exceptionally sensitive to the faintest sound, from the squeak of a mouse to those sounds so low, so deep, that only a dragon could make them, and only a dragon could hear.
	Ohmygosh, Tarrin, is that you? Sarraya gasped, flitting up to his eyes, which was about fifty times bigger than she was.  That close, he could make out her amazed expression.
	Tarrin ignored her for a moment, looking down at Dolanna, who was riding up to him with a similarly amazed look on her face.  Dolanna, he called.  I think you were right.  Thatll teach me for not listening to you.
	Is that an Illusion, dear one? she called up to him.  A trick of light of the fire you create?
	No.  This is real, he told her, holding out a monstrous forepaw.  I am a dragon.  I shapeshifted into this form.
	But that is not possible! she gasped.
	It isnt, except I have these, he said, jerking the thumb on his forepaw behind him, motioning at the huge wings on his back.  They were not his wings of fire, but Dolanna would probably understand what he meant.  They touched my shapeshifting ability and used it to do this to me.  Its a perfect result, though, he admitted.  I even have the breath weapons.
	They all stared up at him in shock, and he started to understand all those things Sapphire used to talk about.  I know, Im all big and impressive.  Stop gawking at me, he told them irritably.
	That made Sarraya laugh, and that seemed to break the mesmerizing effect on the others.
	And people thought you were already big, Miranda called up to him, shouting a little bit.
	You dont have to shout, Miranda.  I could hear you if you whispered.
	I wonder if you could do that to one of us, Haley said in contemplation.  Instead of just yourself.
	Thats an intriguing idea, Miranda told him.
	This is a huge change in your power, dear one, Dolanna said seriously.
	Actually, its small, he answered, looking down at her.  It didnt take much at all for my power to do this, just nudge a power I already have a little bit.  The result is just big.  You forget, Dolanna, I am a shapeshifter.  Its part of my very being.  My power used my own shapeshifting power to do this, not its own power.  All my power did was let me pour myself into a different mold.
	Dolanna looked thoughtful for a long moment, and then she finally nodded in understanding.  Will you have trouble changing back?
	Of course not, he replied.  He willed the change, and just like that, the process began.  Tarrins body suddenly became fire, as the core of living fire that was Tarrin detached itself from the rest, returned to its normal size, and then reformed into his normal shape. The fiery shell then it evaporated like smoke, and Tarrins winged form became visible in the heart of it, until he was the only thing left.  He slowly drifted down to the ground, his feet lightly touching the earth, and he started walking towards the others, who were now nearly a hundred spans ahead of him.
	They all gawked at him, but none more so than the children, who all looked absolutely overwhelmed by Tarrins display.
	Dear one, we absolutely must talk, Dolanna said breathlessly as Tarrin shapeshifted back into his human form.
	I know.  But wed better get going before they realize the dragons gone, and come back.
	Yes, we still have to catch up to Kimmie.
	The trail is over there, Azakar announced, pointing back down the hill.
	Tarrin remounted his large black stallion and retracted his wings, then turned his horse.  Lets get moving.

Chapter 5

	Peace.
	Sometimes it was hard to find among the others, but now, after what had happened the day before, it was even more elusive.  Tarrin hadnt felt so self-conscious in a very long time, because they all wouldnt stop staring at him.  He couldnt understand why, after all of the things they had seen him do over the years, that that one thing would suddenly make them gawk at him like frightened lambs.
	In a way, he felt like staring at himself.  He never dreamed he would be capable of something like that, and the strange thing was, it was a relatively simple trick.  The size of the shape was no barrier to the ability, the only restriction was that he couldnt change into any animal or living thing that he had not previously touched.  That was the only condition required to assume a form using that trick.  It had been so, so easy, like it was something he should have realized he could do all along, but had never noticed until that moment.  And the feeling of it, being that large, looking down on everyone like they were insectsno wonder dragons were so arrogant.  It was hard to take someone seriously that would fit in the palm of your hand.
	Hed brooded over it all afternoon, and after they made camp as well, taking watch once again to be alone.  But still he brooded, staring into a fire that never needed to be fed, sustained by his own power without him even concentrating on it, because though the trick itself was an interesting one, the meaning of it very much had him worried.  His powers were changing, they were growing, and that frightened him deep down inside himself.
	Always before, the ability to separate himself from his power had provided a buffer, a way for him to feel normal.  When his wings were hidden, he had no powers, nothing that distinguished him from everyone else, and that made him feel almost like he belonged.  But now, now the power was changing inside of him, manifesting even without the wings, driving home the stark reality that he was not normal, and he did not belong in this world.   He was an abomination, they called him, a creature that was neither mortal nor divine, with aspects of both yet truly belonging to neither group.  It was his curse to walk the land and be among those who could never understand him, who would either be afraid of him or jealous of him, and be rejected by those who could, rejected and reviled because he was just enough like them to remind them that they were not as powerful and invincible as they believed.  Too divine to be a mortal, not divine enough to be a god, he was trapped between the two, and that left him without any sense of inclusion.  He was a singular, unique being, alone, and destined to remain so for the rest of his life.  And that made him feel alone.
	Strange that a Were-cat would have such a need to belong, but he did.  Tarrin was born human, and he had always been surrounded by friends, by family, a core of people who had literally defined his existence.  They still stood beside him, he knew they did, but now, now they were starting to stare at him, now they were forgetting about Tarrin and seeing the power.  That hurt, more than a little bit, but he also knew that it was a temporary issue.  Once they got used to it, theyd start treating him like they always did.  Azakar would be distant around him, Sarraya would annoy and insult him, Haley and Miranda would joke with him, Ulger would irritate him just a little bit with his comments, Dolanna would quietly guide him, and Mist would be there to support him.  He could only hope that they would get over it soon, because he didnt think they understood how much their change in behavior towards him had upset him.
	So much so that, after Ulger woke up and couldnt go back to sleep, he had left the camp to clear his head and sort things through.  For Tarrin, that meant indulging in the one aspect of his divine power that he was never sorry he had, his ability to fly.  Up high, above a deck of low clouds, Tarrin could find peace in the blowing of the wind, sanctuary in the cold bite of the thinner air, and a moments peace communing with the stars.  Hovering in midair, he stared up into the sky, trying to understand why he was changing, why his friends were starting to worry more about the change than they were about him, and worry about Kimmie and the danger this world put them all in.
	Could this world be affecting his powers?  It was certainly possible.  This was a different world, after all, with its own set of rules concerning just about everything.  Sorcery didnt work here, Druidic magic didnt work here, so maybe the rules for using divine powers were also a little different.  Maybe it was like grounding; he had to spend time in an area to ground to it so he could Teleport back there, so perhaps he had had to spend time on this world for his power to attune to it, and maybe here, his powers were actually a little stronger than they were at home.  There, the gods hated him, and actively strove to suppress him.  Here, the only god he had truly sensed as being active was the One, and though the One certainly couldnt like him all that much, the One did not control this entire world.  The One was a god of man, not one of the gods who controlled the Balance, gods who directed the worlds primal forces.  He wasnt sure how he knew that, but he was certain of it.  Those gods, well, he didnt know where they were, or if they even cared enough to bother to show themselves.  The Elder Gods back home barely took notice of the mortals, for their attention was focused on keeping the world in harmony and maintaining the Balance.  There was a good chance that the Elder Gods of this world simply didnt care about the struggles of the mortals.  They were just a tiny fraction of the totality of the Balance, unnoticed until something they did, or something did to them, upset the Balance.
	Gods.  Maybe they were exerting themselves a little, for he was starting to feel just a little manipulated.  He wasnt sure why, or how, but he had this strange, almost instinctual feeling that someone out there was goading him.  Every time he lost his temper, he exhibited a new aspect of his power, and he couldnt shake the feeling that someone out there was goading that, setting up scenarios that were inciting him into reacting.  Were they testing him to see how strong he was?  The One certainly came to mind.  He knew Tarrin was moving around, and by now, he had to understand that Tarrin was not just an extremely powerful mortal.  Tarrin posed a viable threat to any god just because of who he was, because he possessed the power to destroy a gods icon.  And since hed already made it clear that he detested the One, it was possible that the One was directing his minions to set up atrocities in his path to test the extent of his power.  It also showed that the One was willing to throw away a few hundred men, but not so willing to throw away too many, else hed send an army after Tarrin.  If that were indeed the case, it was a tactical risk, exposing a smaller unit to attack to reveal the strengths of the enemy, and plan accordingly with the main bulk of ones forces.  Put into those terms, the reasoning made sense, up to a point, because it made little sense to throw away men to test something he could discover by sending a single powerful Demon, so there was a nagging flaw in his reasoning.  Though he had the feeling he was being pushed somehow, he wasnt sure who was doing it, or why.
	This was supposed to be easy, damn it all.  Just come here, track down Kimmie, search old books for lore, talk to people, find the Dwarves and information on the lost Ancients, and then go home with whoever they found that was willing to go with them.  This wasnt supposed to turn into a game of hide and seek with a power-hungry god whose stranglehold on the land was a direct affront to Tarrins sensibilities.  It most certainly was never meant to become anything other than a mission to recover either people or information.  But things were by no means easy now.
	He was afraid.  He knew himself enough to be able to admit that.  He was afraid of the power in him, power that was starting to grow.  He was starting to use it for more than the occasional joy flight now, actively use his power, something he had never done before.  By never touching it, he had distanced himself from it, tried to ignore it, tried to pretend that it wasnt there just to delude himself into feeling that it didnt matter.  But it did matter, and no amount of wishing could ever change that.
	Bringing his sword out from the elsewhere, Tarrin gazed upon the black blade and pondered it for a long moment, feeling the curious warmth of the blade against the pad on his palm.  What he wouldnt give to throw it away, it and everything it represented, just abandon this power within him and return to being mortalbeing normal.  But that was impossible now.  The power came from the very core of him, inseparable by any definition.  There would be no miraculous happenstance this time, like what happened when his Were nature was stripped from him by the curse the Elder gods placed on the Firestaff.   The power came from his soul, it was his soul that had been forever and irrevocably altered.  His was the soul of a god, a divine incarnation that had been forever changed in the moment of his ascension.
	If he kept using his power, it was going to grow, and that chasm between him and the others was going to get wider and wider.  It had already begun, with the shapeshifting.  He would feel less and less like he belonged with them, and they would see him more and more as someone other than who he was.  They would see the power instead of the man behind it.  But that might be unavoidable, if he kept relying on his power to get them through this hostile world, and he kept enjoying the use of that power.  He had enjoyed using his power to take on a new, different form.  He couldnt deny that, any more than he could deny his love of his ability to fly.
	It was times like this when he felt the separation from his mother, from Triana, from his sisters, and especially from his Goddess most keenly.  Always before, whenever he felt lost or confused, one of his sisters, or his mother, or Triana could help him work through his problems.  When it was a big problem, like this one, Niami was always there for him, ready to guide him, to reassure him, to support him as he struggled through and found a solution.  But they were beyond his touch now.
	Or were they?
	All he needed was something linked to Sennadar, something ingrained into the fabric of that universe, and he could use it as a bridge to reach into his own world using a Wizard spell that allowed communication between two dimensions.  Wizards most often used it to talk to Demons and other otherworldly spirits to gather information, but there was nothing stopping him from using it to talk to someone in Sennadar.  He just needed a material link to his world.  And he had the Firestaff.  If anything
	Wait.  It wasnt there.  Tarrin searched through the other place that was the elsewhere with a sort of sense of it provided by his amulet, a knowledge of what was held within it and where it was, and he found it was missing.  Where did it go?  He didnt take it out, not even once, since coming to this world
	Oh.  That was right.  Niami said it wouldnt allow itself to leave Sennadar, or they would have just tossed it through a gate to be rid of it.  Obviously, the Firestaff had managed to extricate itself from the elsewhere and remained behind.
	Odds were, it was lying in the snow in front of the gate.  He hoped the Goddess or someone had the foresight to pick it up.
	If he couldnt use the Firestaff, he needed something else.  It had to be something that was inexorably tied up with the power of Sennadar, something that was bonded to his world in such a way that its fundamental identity could not be altered.  Wizards often used weapons forged by Demons, weapons made of the stuff of the Abyss, which was so unique that it maintained a tie to its home dimension.
	His sword might work.  It was an artifact created on Sennadar, and the circumstances of that creation gave it a unique tie to his home world.
	Then again, Sarrayas amulet was perfect.  It met every condition.  But, given that it was the only reason that she and Fireflash could survive here, he didnt want to tamper with that amulet in any way.  He would try it with his sword first, and if that failed, and Sarraya and Fireflash agreed, he could try it using the amuletbut only if they had a dire need to talk to someone in Sennadar.  He wouldnt risk their lives just because he wanted to talk to someone from home to help him work through his feelings.  That would be unspeakably callous of him.
	If only he could just Whisper, or bridge.  But there was no Weave here, and Sorcery was denied to him.  Things would be much easier if he could just use his Sorcery, because the Goddess would be within reach of him at all times, but that was quite impossible.
	A faint flicker of light danced across the flat of the blade of his sword.  At first, he thought it a reflection of the rising moon, that odd blue and green moon, but it was the wrong color.  Tarrin ignored it, then he sighed and again looked up at the moon.  He would save that for later, just in case he felt so lost or uncertain that talking to Niami was absolutely necessary.
	Silly of him that he felt the need to run to Niami the instant he started feeling uneasy.  He was an adult, for the trees sake.  Hed have to work out his problems himself.
	The first step, he supposed, was not hiding from his power anymore.  He had it, there was nothing he could do about it, and that was that.  It was about damn time he accept that fact.  He didnt have the time to be childish, he was putting Kimmies life at risk by trying to hide from what he was.  If finding and saving Kimmie meant that he could no longer pretend to be a mortal, then so be it.  Her life was more important than any immature impulses he was suffering through.
	No matter what it might cost him, the only thing that mattered was what it would cost her.
	Lowering his sword, he looked into the sky, up at the stars, then looked down to the clouds below him.
	It was time to grow up.
	Ill make you proud, Mother, he said quietly, to himself, then he straightened up a bit.  Ill make you proud, Niami.
	I am always proud of you, kitten, her voice touched him, but as if it had come from a great distance.
	Mother? he called in surprise.
	That title no longer suits me, Tarrin, her reply came.  You are no longer my child, and I should no longer address you as one.  If anyone has earned the right to call me by my name, it is you.
	How are you doing this, MoNiami? he asked.
	I am doing nothing, Tarrin.  You are.
	I am?
	You wanted to talk to me, and so you are.  I would guess that now, youre strong enough to do it.  I take it your powers are awakening?
	You knew this would happen?
	Tarrin, since when do I not know whats happening to you? she asked winsomely.  I knew that your powers would grow if you started using them.  Always before, youve avoided doing that, but I would guess that since you have fewer options there, youve been forced to fall back on them.
	More or less.
	How goes it?
	Quickly, Tarrin summarized their progress thus far in finding Kimmie.  He told her about the One, and the troubles he was causing this world, and then explained the Ones hatred of magic and non-humans and related what Merik had told them in Dengal.
	Hmm.  That might cause it, if  its true, she told him.  The spirits of my children havent returned to me.  I thought they were alive because of that, but if the One has trapped their souls in that world, then that would certainly explain it as well.  You need to free them, Tarrin.
	How do I do that?
	Easy.  Open a gate to Sennadar.  If the One is blocking the souls of my children from entering the Astral, then you need to give them another way to reach me.
	How do I do that?
	There are Wizard spells that create gateways between worlds, Tarrin.  Theyre extremely powerful spells, and only the greatest of Wizards are capable of casting them, so naturally, Phandebrass can do it.  Phandebrass has several versions of the spells in his spellbooks, but he cant use them in Sennadar.  Hes collected them over the years, you know how he is.  You need to find him and tell him that he must cast one that has a sustained duration.  The instant a gate is opened to Sennadar, I can call my children home.  The One cant stop it.
	But the Elder Gods wont allow a gate into Sennadar, he protested.
	Ill handle that from this end.  Just find Phandebrass and tell him what we need.  When hes ready, let me know, and Ill make arrangements with my mother.
	Were on his trail right now, Mother, he told her.  Hes with Kimmie.
	Then finding Kimmie is whats important.  When you recover her and Phandebrass, we can recall the souls of my children, and I can bring them home.  And you can come home.
	That sounds strangely vehement, Mother.
	Niami, Tarrin.  Id much prefer it if you call me by my name.
	It wont be easy thinking of you by any other name.
	Youre not a child anymore, Tarrin, she said with a light manner.  Ill have to find a new name for you as well.  It just wont do to call you kitten now.
	Niami, kitten sounds just fine.
	She laughed.  Much as I love to call you that, its not suitable for you now.  A name is an important thing, Tarrin.  It is more than a way to call someone, it is a representation of who one is, and who one is to another.  Its no longer proper for you to call me Mother, so that must stop.  And since I cant think of you as a child anymore, I have to address you properly.
	You lost me.
	She laughed again.  Its a god thing, Tarrin.  Well, actually, its a concept of all non-mortal beings, not just gods.  A name has great power, just ask any Demon.  The names they use arent their real names.
	I remember Kimmie teaching me about that.  Now, why are you so vehement about me coming home?
	Lets just say that the idea of you coming home isnt sitting well with some of the others, she answered.  They like you where you are.  Out of their hair.  But dont worry about it, Tarrin.  They are not going to do this to you.  I wont allow it.
	They dont want me to come back? he asked in disbelief.
	Let me worry about that, Tarrin.  Theyre not going to treat you like this, not so long as I have an iota of life left in me.  They often dismiss me because my power isnt vital to the Balance, that Im the only expendable Elder God.  But theyre going to find out how powerful I really am, and just what happens when they cross me.
	Tarrin blurted out a short laugh.  Hed never heard her so, so, indignant before.  What are you going to do?
	If they think the power of my magic isnt all that important, well fine.  Theyll have to learn how to live without it.
	What do you mean?
	Tarrin, the power they give to their Priests comes through me, she said with a little anger in her voice.  If they want to act like frightened children and dismiss me when I assure them that youre no danger, thats fine.  This child is about to storm away from the playroom in a tizzy, and shes taking her toys with her.
	What she was saying dawned on him.  Mother!  Youre going to deny the Priests their magic!
	You better believe it, honey, she said smugly.  If they want to act on something this important to me without even listening, then I see no reason to continue being nice.  They want to play this hard, so hard is what theyre going to get.
	Youre going to get in a load of trouble! he warned.  Im not worth that much!
	I say you are.  Prove me wrong.
	Shed used that reasoning against him before.  Hed had no answer for it then, and he still had no answer for it.
	But, but what about the Balance?
	Tarrin, dear, if you recall, I told you that magic is the only aspect of our world that isnt vital, she reminded him.  Because of that, I can completely withdraw my power from the world and it will go on as it always did before.  That gives me much, much more freedom than any other Elder god.  Because the others have annoyed me, Im going to withdraw the Weave from the other gods, and nobody, not even my mother and father, can force me to stop.  And not just the Elder gods, Tarrin, all of them.  The Youngers are going to scream bloody murder, and Im just going to point to my parents and tell them that theyll have to take it up with Ayise and Shellar.  Mother and father are going to have an absolute furor on their hands, but Im not going to budge.  Not a finger.  Either they let you come home, or no Priest will so much as light a candle with magic ever again.
	The image of that in his mind, of Ayise and Shellar in that other-dimensional place where they truly lived, trying to calm down a pack of furious Younger gods, was just too funny to keep silent.  She was going to blackmail her parents into getting her way, and there was nothing that they could do to stop her.  If she didnt allow the Younger gods to grant magic to their Priests, the worshippers that gave them their power may lose faith in them and stop believing, and that would make them weaker.  Niami was playing a major trump card, because she was manipulating the Younger gods into rallying together and demanding that the Elder gods relent on this issue.  If nobody could truly force Niami to stop, then she held every Younger god in the palm of her handand she was about to close her fist around them and squeeze.  Niami, youre something else, do you know that?
	I know I am, she replied impishly.  Just leave it to me, Tarrin.  Ill get my way, one way or another.  My parents and my brothers and sisters often overlook me, but they will